Hi everyone! WOW! Seems like ages since I was able to post on my blog and I have really missed the outlet! Writing has always been such a wonderful way to dump what was on my mind…a way of release and somehow, writing by hand on a piece of notebook paper that gets lost in a sea of other papers just isn’t the same.
So, in a nutshell and hopefully without including all the emotional trauma I have felt, I will tell you “where I have been”. Several weeks ago it became apparent that my more than ten-year-old MacBook Pro was having issues….so I began attempting to back up my data (yeah, yeah…I know, I should have been much more diligent!). I tried three different methods but none of them would/could complete the process of backing up.
I felt panicked because on my hard drive were 15-20 partially finished manuscripts of books not yet published, as well as a multitude of ideas for books not yet started. Also on my hard drive of utmost importance to me were legal and financial documents for our farm and a whole host of other impossible-to-replace documents. But, it was the unfinished books that were eating at me!
It eventually became apparent that the computer was dying, and it took its final breath even though I felt like I was giving her CPR! I was devastated. My husband, who does IT for a large corporation works on PCs and not on Apple products…and suggested that I go with a PC so that if something happens to it, he can fix it…so that’s the route I decided to go for now.
However, that didn’t fix the loss of data. I contacted a couple of my nephews who know a lot about the computer world and it was suggested that I find a local recovery company, especially after Microcenter charged me fifty bucks to tell me they couldn’t help me and that they needed to send it to their recovery company for a grand total of “at least” $1300!!! O my! I thought I would faint.
Thankfully, a week later, I had a recovery disk in my hand for a little over $400 and the assurance that they were able to recover all my data! I was elated! Then, my husband found a wonderful HP professional laptop on eBay and I got it for $375 (thanks to birthday gifts and a temporary loan from my son)! So, I am now back up and running…kind of!
So, yesterday, when I was finally able to get on my blogsite, I discovered that I had tons of messages from people who found my blog and were kind enough to leave comments of how my posts encouraged, entertained and intrigued them! It was so encouraging to me that I feel as though new life’s blood is coursing through me and I just want to get back to sharing my journey!
Some upcoming topics will be more posts on my journey on the death of my dream; new life expectancy here on the farm; where I go from here; and so much more! So stay tuned! There will be much more to make you laugh and cry and maybe even scratch your head in amazement or wonder. Thank you for accompanying me on this journey! Hope you enjoy your stay.
One note: I have been putting off the launch of my new website because of the lack of a computer…but it’s coming. Not sure what to do about my calendars that I had planned to sell since we are already almost at the middle of December. But, watch for it!
It was suggested to me by a friend that perhaps I could chronicle and share my journey through this time. I think I will take her up on that. I’m not sure how it will go, or how many “parts” there will be, but I am certainly willing to share so, if by something I am going through, I am able to help someone else going through something similar.
I don’t mean to imply that the death of my dreams is any more or less important or devastating than the death of your dreams. I just know that writing helps me process and if writing it down helps me, then perhaps it will help someone else, even if all the variables aren’t the same.
So stay tuned… or not. Either way, I will be writing my way through this processing of healing.
The first thing I want to dive into is for me, there are a couple of different types of dreams. As I said in my original post, there are dreams that just plain aren’t going to come true in any form or fashion. Then, there are dreams that won’t come true in the way that I dreamed them, but with some alterations, either in thinking or circumstances, may still resemble my dream.
Depending on which dream is on my heart at the moment demanding the most of my emotional resources at the time, the mourning will look different. For the dreams I’ve dreamed all my life that just aren’t going to come true, either by the fault of my own choices or the fault of another’s choices, the mourning is the deepest pain.
For the dream that must change, whether a little or a lot, but some semblance of that dream can remain, the mourning is different: still very painful, but some part of my brain knows that it’s not a total loss. So when you have the loss of multiple dreams in both these categories, the mourning is truly a mixed bag of emotion and thought processes.
Another aspect that I want to dive into during this introductory phase is truth. I come into this phase of my life with the basic knowledge that 1) God is sovereign; 2) I am not alone; 3) He works all things together for my good and His glory; 4) God’s word is truth; 5) I am loved by my Creator; 6) This world is not my home, so everything I go through while I am here is just temporary.
So, I invite you to come along for the journey. Subscribe, if you’d like, so that you don’t miss the posts. Feel free to comment and if something I say helps you, please feel free to share that, too. It would be an encouragement to me!
I am no different than the rest of you. I had plenty of dreams about what my life would be. Some of those dreams were based on who I was becoming; some of those dreams were based on role models I had; and some of those dreams were just whimsical wishes of a young girl.
Then, LIFE HAPPENS! Sometimes gradually and sometimes suddenly, some of those dreams of what “would/could be” are dashed, slashed and shattered…or at the very least changed in a way so that we barely recognize them. I am no stranger to broken dreams. How we deal with those changes literally makes us or breaks us!
Sometimes the dreams that are shattered can be pieced back together. They may not look like they once did, but nevertheless, they still resemble the dreams we dreamed. Other dreams must be abandoned or traded in for different dreams.
I am currently dealing with the dashing of several dreams. It’s a hard pill to swallow. Some of the dreams I am trying to learn to let go…recognizing that God is literally prying my fingers open that are holding those dreams…some are dreams that I have held most of my life. Some of the dreams I am trying to learn to let go are recent dreams that in part, have come true, but maybe not turning out exactly how I had envisioned or hoped they would.
The first step in dealing with the dashing of my dreams is mourning. I have cried so many tears this week there were times I thought I’d have no more tears to cry. There were times I couldn’t even speak or even think without shedding tears. The verse “Weeping may stay for overnight, but there is joy in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5b CSB) has been rolling over and over in my head…only it’s been more like “joy comes after mourning”. ..hopefully!
The death of a dream…let alone the death of several dreams, as I have experienced this week, is not only deep emotional pain, it is physical pain. And, not only that, it is spiritual pain and it is mental pain.
I have been reminded of the verse in Hebrews where we are told that Jesus says “I will never leave you or forsake (abandon) you”. And 1 Peter 5:6-7 says “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you.” (CSB)
The psalmist’s words “I am weary from my groaning; with my tears I dampen my bed and drench my couch every night. My eyes are swollen from grief; they grow old because of all my enemies — Psalms 6:6-7 (CSB), have definitely described me this week. Who are my enemies? Well, I have found that I can be my own worst enemy. I cling to my dream, to the hurt, and to expectations and have a tendency to protect myself from the one perceived of causing that hurt and loss of dream.
Now today, I think I am beginning to come out of the mourning phase. Does it still hurt to be forced to let go of my dreams? YES!!! Absolutely it still hurts. However, the second step I am experiencing in dealing with the death of my dreams is acceptance.
It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Well, I am realizing that in the case of a couple of my dreams, I have done just that! I have continued to fight for and expect specifically one of my dreams to somehow magically materialize even though it has been quite evident for years that it isn’t going to happen. So, I am now faced with the task of accepting that it’s not meant to be.
How do I do that? Well, I’m not exactly sure, but one way is to continue to speak truth to myself that I am loved and that the One Who created me and to Whom I have given my life, love and trust has promised to work all things together for my good and for His glory. Romans 8:26-28 says “In the same way the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, because we do not know what to pray for as we should, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with inexpressible groanings. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because he intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (CSB)
So, those nights when my prayers aren’t even understandable words and phrases, the Holy Spirit intercedes for me in my weakness. And that even though I do not understand why my dreams cannot be…God promises to work ALL things for my good. I cannot see the future. I do not know what it holds but I know Who holds the future (I hear the old hymn playing in my mind as I write this.) and I know He holds my hand.
So, first is mourning and then acceptance. But what kind of a life is it when you just accept and deal with what you cannot change? Honestly, in my opinion, not a great life. So what’s next?
When raising children, we call it “redirection”. When they can’t have something they want, just taking it away and slapping their hands isn’t really a very loving gesture and teaches them nothing. But when we can redirect their attention to something else, something that will take the place of what they can’t have, maybe even something BETTER, then they learn to accept and deal with it and move on. MOVE ON! That’s next. But HOW?
For an adult, especially an adult who lives by faith, it’s called renewing your mind…renewing MY mind! Romans 12 talks about renewing your mind so that we may discern what is the good, pleasing and perfect will of God (Romans 12:2).
One way I have found to renew my mind is to redirect its focus. Philippians 4:6-7 say “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (CSB). So instead of dwelling on what I can’t have…i.e., my dying or dead dreams, I can pray and petition God, with thanksgiving, understanding that in doing so, I will have His peace and my heart and mind will be guarded.
Another step in this renewal process, after prayer, is what I choose to think about. For the past several days, I have mourned the loss of my dreams and those thoughts have consumed my mind. But Philippians 4:8 says “Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable — if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy — dwell on these things.” (CSB)
So the next part of renewal is what I choose to dwell on. This verse says whatever is true. What is true? What is. Not what I wish was…but what IS! Other things to dwell on are things that are honorable, just, pure, lovely and commendable. I don’t know about you, but I am a list maker…and obviously a writer…and my brain deals better with information written down. I am going to take this idea of the “renewal of my mind” and what I dwell on a step further and make a list of things that fit the criteria in this verse. I might find, as you may also, that there are plenty of things in my life that I can dwell on that will be better than dwelling on what I have lost.
Proverbs 17:22 says “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” (CSB). Well, I can tell you that I have certainly had a broken spirit this week and that broken spirit has presented physical symptoms: isolation, inability to concentrate, pessimism, anger, irritability, and many others. So, if the flip-side is joy…where can I find joy?
Nehemiah 8:10 says “Do not grieve, because the joy of the Lord is your strength.”(CSB). I can make the choice to leave the grieving behind…because it is grieving the death of something precious…and allow the joy of the Lord to be my strength. He is the giver of all good gifts: “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” — James 1:17 (CSB)
So, what good and perfect gifts has He given to me in my life that I can dwell on rather than on what I have lost? It will be different for each of us, but for me several come to mind: first and foremost is my relationship with the God of the universe, and my precious children and grandchildren are definitely joy-bringers in my life! Writing gives me joy. My farm gives me joy: new life, life cycles, planting and bountiful harvest and even physical labor…and even if how that farm looks in the future changes…it is still a wonderful gift that I could never have even dreamed of when I was younger.
So, let’s recap: How am I going to deal with the death of my dreams? 1) allow myself to grieve, to mourn the loss; 2) accept what is; 3) renew my mind and by a) prayer and b) redirection of thoughts; and 4) find the joy.
I hope putting these thoughts down in an orderly fashion helps someone as much as it has helped me. I need reminders. It will still be a struggle. I may go back and forth between grieving and acceptance more than once. But by renewing my mind and finding the joy, I am confident that I will be able to leave the dreams in the past and embrace the joys that await!
Just a quick post and picture of my newest release! This book was fun to write because it was such a mystery to us as it was happening! Very cool! A real rodeo right in our own pasture!
So, here is a quick rundown on my books:
“My Name is Mocha” is the story of Mocha, my favorite cow in the whole world, who I fell in love with when she was just two weeks old and begged her farmer to sell her to me when we got moved to the country, which he did! (Thank you, Ralph!) Readers will learn about the life of a dairy cow on our small farm. As in all my de Good Life Farm books, there is a glossary at the back of the book for unfamiliar words.
“My Name is Merlin” is the story of Merlin, our Easter Egger rooster. He is amazing and smart and his crowing starts my day of right every day! You would never believe all the things he has to teach his hens! Later in November, he will be adding about thirty hens to his harem…poor Merlin! He will be so busy!
“We are Mocha’s Family” is the story of all the calves that have been born here on the farm since its inception in 2014. There are cute stories and a family tree so that readers can get the big picture of the mothers and calves here on the farm. In my opinion, the calves are the icing on the cake here at the farm.
“My Name is Odin” is the story of our amazing Great Pyrenees livestock guardian dog, Odin. He truly is amazing and so very smart! He protects our chickens and our cattle from predators. Most of the time he uses restraint and doesn’t chase the chickens, but occasionally, I have to use my “pack leader” voice and call him back to attention. After all, he still IS a puppy!
“The Mysterious Midnight Visitor at de Good Life Farm” is the story of a visitor who had run away from his owners and ended up here on our property, visiting our calves, Hershey and Cocoa. It’s a different format as the story is told both from my perspective and theirs…since they knew what was going on before I did!
I hope you will check out these books. They will make great Christmas gifts for kids and grandkids! You can purchase them as a set at a discount if you purchase from my publisher. You can also purchase from amazon as well as other retailers.
My first fiction book is nearing completing…Watch for news of it’s upcoming release!
Don’t forget to subscribe so that you don’t miss upcoming news about releases!
Hello! Thank you for stopping by! It occurred to me that I haven’t updated my blog in quite a while regarding my “authoring news”…so here is the latest…
Four of my “de Good Life Farm Series” books have been published and released and the fifth book in that series “The Mysterious Midnight Visitor at de Good Life Farm” (see cover below) is currently being formatted and should be released in a couple of weeks. I am amazed that it was only shortly over a year ago that my first book “My Name is Mocha” was released! Each of these books represents a dream come true and animals that I love with all my heart! To see their pictures on the covers and to have my books published is truly surreal!
newest book in the “de Good Life Farm” series, soon to be released
I have now ventured into the world of children’s fiction which was a scary step onto what felt like a very wobbly branch…however, now that I am on this branch, I am having so much fun! I wrote a short children’s book back in 2006 and I stumbled upon it several weeks ago in my “Works in Progress” folder. I went through it and after much editing, it now has new life and will soon be published.
However, the “WIP” I am most excited about is approximately four-fifths finished. It has changed drastically from it’s form when it was to be a picture book to what it is now…a chapter book and although that in itself was frightening…I am so thankful that I took the leap and ventured into unknown territory. I am having a BLAST writing it. I literally cannot wait to have time to sit down at my computer and let the story spill out!
My inspiration for it’s content was born out of my excitement for something I am growing in my garden and literally the story began forming in my brain as I worked among the plants. When I say it wrote itself, I am not kidding. Each morning, as I worked, watered and took pictures, more and more of the story was written and I could hardly wait to get in the house and write it all down. Each day, the new additions to the story have amounted to about 500 words.
I know I am being a bit close-mouthed regarding details about the book and that is intentional! Sorry-not sorry! But, I will tell you that I love the book and when reading it out loud to my husband and son yesterday, the story made me so emotional, it brought tears to my eyes. I think it is a wonderful story (I know, DUH! of course I do!) and it has taken an entirely different turn than I had envisioned when I first began writing.
Also, on the back burner, are several counting books (if you know me at all, you know that I love numbers), a book about ALL the farm stories (The Tales and Tails of de Good Life Farm) I couldn’t put into the children’s picture books, and now, that I have stepped into the world of fiction, who knows what is ahead? I continue to take photographs, because that’s another of my loves, and who knows what books lie in my future that will need illustrations?
So, I hope you will come along for the ride. It’s just beginning! But one thing I have learned. The common and mundane becomes magical and wonderfully exciting with a little imagination. Please subscribe to receive my blogs and news of my upcoming books by clicking or tapping on the “mail” icon.
I am hoping that soon COVID-19 will be brought to a point where I can return to visits in the schools. I really enjoy the interaction with the children and being able to read my books and answer questions form the children I even had the opportunity to put on a couple of writing workshops for students. In the meantime, I am exploring the idea of virtual visits via Facetime and Zoom! In books, your children and grandchildren can travel to many places and experience many adventures that otherwise would not be possible for them to experience just by opening the page and reading!
Thanks for stopping by! Hope you will stop by again soon!
Well, it’s been a pretty long time since I wrote on my blog. But, don’t think I haven’t been writing! Since I posted last, in April, we have been very busy here on the farm and I have been very busy as an author!
First, the authoring news! In May, My Name is Odin was released! If you aren’t familiar with Odin, he is our 28-month-old Great Pyrenees livestock guardian dog. He is an amazing creature and my love and respect for him grows daily. He has been “off lead” and in “full guardian mode” since he turned two years old in April and he has literally OWNED the pasture and the protection of the animals who live there!
He has learned NOT to chase the Merlin and his hens (well, he remembers that MOST of the time!). Then in July, we introduced him to our 50 three-week-old broiler meat chicks. Oh boy! Did he love having them in the pasture! He layed by them, circled the chicken tractors and left his mark multiple times a day! I think he was energized by the fact that when he was investigating and making his rounds around the chicken tractor, the chicks would squawk and scatter. But, he is STILL a puppy, right? He has his routine in patrolling the entire pasture, which I think is more than cool!
Mocha and Jersey have learned (again, for the most part!) to put up with him. He loves to “tail” them (literally following under their tails) when they are going from pasture to barn and back again. Sometimes Jersey’s dislike for him is displayed by turning around quickly and giving him “the look” as if to say “keep your distance, buddy, or I’m gonna kick you right in the nose!” And, amazingly enough, he seems to read her, because most of the time he will back off.
His speed amazes me. One day when we were out doing chores, I noticed he was laying over in the side pasture with something between his paws…the typical pose for when he is eating a bone, etc….but I hadn’t given him a bone. So, I slowly approached, talking softly and sweetly to him so he didn’t feel threatened…and he picked his treasure up and headed to the back pasture with it. I am not totally sure what it was, but I am almost positive it was a bunny. It was the right size and the right shape. The thoughts of that boy being fast enough to catch and eat a bunny totally astounds me! However, I know HE IS FAST! When he is running up behind me and passes me, the wind he brings with him is amazing and the speed with which he passes me is impressive! I don’t hear him until he is just a few paces behind me and then it’s breathtaking…hoping one day he doesn’t knock me over. Once, he didn’t steer clear enough and some part of him hit the back of my knee. I don’t know how I kept from falling! Thankfully, I stayed upright with a new appreciation of all of his attributes that make him such a good livestock guardian.
He is SMART! AND, he is motivated by the duck jerky treats I found at our local pet supply store. When preparing to let him off the lead for good, I had to find something that would motivate him to obey. The beef jerky treats did NOTHING! The chicken treats did nothing! So I tried the “European raised duck jerky” and oh my! It’s almost funny because even when he knows he is going to get tied up (to keep him out of the barn when it has to be opened, because he causes havoc in the barn…cats…chicks…etc.) you can see his dilemma. He WANTS the treat but you see the struggle in his behavior as he has to deny himself freedom for the treat! Jeff won’t even attempt to tie him up because he doesn’t take treats out with him and Odin stays far from him and watches because he knows Jeff will tie him up if he gets too close…and he won’t even get a treat for his trouble!
So, on to the next book: my fifth book in the de Good Life Farm book series, The Mysterious Midnight Visitor at de Good Life Farm is waiting for the final edits to be made by my publisher and hopefully will be released in the next couple of weeks! But, the most exciting thing perhaps, is that I have completed my first children’s fiction picture book, Carmella’s Camel, and have begun my first fiction chapter book (name being withheld for now).
Besides the writing I am doing, I have one children’t book being illustrated, with another to follow soon after. And, I am working on some counting books (if you know me, you know that not only do I LOVE words…I LOVE numbers!) Writing is such a joy to me. The marketing…well, not so much! Guess I will just have to continue writing and getting books published because I love it and I have a lot of things to write about..and not because I am making money at it.
The COVID-19 pandemic has blown out the fire in my book sales because the schools have been where I have sold the most, which makes sense because children are my audience! Not being able to do author visits makes me sad. Not only do I appreciate the sales, but I absolutely LOVE interacting with the children, watching them interact and respond to the books as I read them and answer their questions (or hear their stories and comments as well). I hope that someday soon, those visits can continue.
The meat chickens’ “one bad day”.
So, back to the meat chickens – yesterday completed the good life we gave our first batch of meat birds and we loaded them up in the truck early in the morning. Of course, we tied Odin up…can’t even imagine how much harder they would have been to catch had he been loose to rile them up! Anyway, he watched intently as we caught and put each one in crates and loaded them onto the truck. Then, he watched as we went to the second chicken tractor and did the same. The look on his face was perplexed concern. He strategically placed himself in front of the chicken tractor where his new charges are (the four-week-old meat chickens) as if to say, “You can’t take these!”
“You can’t touch these!”
Micah drove the truck loaded with chickens out of the pasture and Jeff closed the gate. I let Odin off the lead and immediately he headed over to the empty chicken tractors to check them out. I headed to the house to grab what I needed to take with me to the processor and then as we pulled out, I realized Odin had run all the way to the front pasture so he could see what was happening with the chickens. It was as if he felt responsible for their well-being and he was reluctant to turn over his duty of protection to anyone else. It was so adorable and admirable!
Now we have the second batch of broiler chicks in both of the big chicken tractors in the pasture and the cycle starts again. As soon as they were all safely moved into their new homes…Odin began making his rounds, keeping his watchful on them…and of course, making them noisily scatter when he came near.
Besides broilers, we are raising thirty layer chicks. Our layers’ production has dwindled and in this family, 3-4 eggs per day will NEVER do…so we will eagerly anticipate the day in late fall that we will begin getting eggs again and have enough to share. This time, when ordering, I opted for a higher percentage of the good egg producers and fewer of the “pretty variety egg” producing hens. After skimping on eggs for weeks now, I want the majority of my hens to be all about laying eggs. I did get a few Americana’s for their pretty blue eggs, but just a few!
And gardening…this year I have grown the most amazing garden I have probably ever grown. My zucchini plants are monstrous (as are some of the zucchini that hide under those amazingly large leaves) and I have frozen tons of zucchini spirals for use instead of pasta and shredded zucchini for breads and muffins. YUM! Now my tomatoes are starting to come on and I made my husband’s day when I put fresh tomatoes on his turkey sandwich and salads.
My sweet red peppers are nearly ready to harvest and I have banana peppers ready to freeze. Jalapeños are already in the freezer, so when my Roma tomatoes are ready, it’s salsa time! I will also be sharing my Roma tomatoes with my mom for canning, since I seem to use a lot of the tomatoes she cans. This year it will be a joint effort.
But the “funnest” thing about my garden is growing pumpkins. I don’t ever remember growing pumpkins before but I have wanted to for some time. The pumpkins started off as something fun for whatever grandkids can be here when they are ready to harvest…but they have turned into something FAR more than that! (I am going to be slyly evasive about this for now).
I love how the pumpkin leaves grow so symmetrically!
We have had a pretty difficult last four weeks — the first weekend, we lost our air conditioning on one of the hottest days of the season. We couldn’t keep the house cool enough and we are so sad that even with fans and water, Beau, our not-even-five-year-old male golden retriever died from heat stroke. Our hearts are broken.
The next weekend, the air conditioning went out AGAIN…a different issue…however it wasn’t AS HOT as the previous weekend and we took our female golden, Lacey, to our son’s house to hang out for awhile. Thankfully, the problem with the air conditioner was discovered and the fixed!
The following weekend our other son got sick with some stomach/intestinal bug (oh, this is AFTER a week and a half before that when my husband got sick with the same symptoms!) and he was pretty sick for a week! Then, he had to get a COVID test in order to return to work. We are still waiting on those results even though he has been well for several days.
Then, this past weekend, (YES! another weekend!), we blew a fuse in the barn when going out to do milking and evening chores. Our sweet neighbor, Dave, came and tried to fix it (he can fix anything!), but no luck. We put together more than 240 feet of extension cords and plugged them in on the deck so that our 3 week old layer chicks wouldn’t die. We have done the milking with no light and no fans…until I got fed up and found another extension cord for those luxuries during chores! Today, we finally got electric restored…it was a BIG ticket…issues that should have been caught when we bought the house, but unfortunately, weren’t.
the path where the new electric lines were laid from barn to house
Well, I just wanted to catch you all up on what we’ve been up to here at de Good Life Farm. It has been an eventful few months, but what can you do but be thankful to the good Lord for the blessings and keep plowing ahead?
Hope you enjoyed this update and will subscribe to my blog. Watch for the announcement that my new website is up and running (hopefully soon) http://www.dianeorrauthor.com. You will also be able to access my blog there as well purchase books and eventually other items!
Mocha and Elsie’s last day together. She is definitely Mocha’s “mini-me”!
I am sitting here inside my family room beside the bay window that faces the barn and I continue to hear Elsie bawling her heart out because she is permanently separated from her mama, Mocha. Mocha is beginning to settle down some, but sometimes joins back in to make it a sad duet, singing their woes of isolation. Beside me, lie our two golden retrievers, Lacey and Beau. Beau is snoring peacefully.
If you read my previous posts about “Tenney”, I am sad to say that I haven’t seen her for three days. The first day I let her out she went about her day as normal, checking out all her usual places…the manure pile, the pasture, etc. That night she didn’t show up for feed and I didn’t see her until the second day after that. She was out front, in the garden and the front pasture living it up.
Tenney doing her thing…
I was relieved and stopped worrying about her, but I allowed my fears to subside too soon. I haven’t seen her since then. I feel sad, but there are, from time to time, many things that make me sad here on the farm. I find that the only way I can deal with the sad things is to just allow myself to be sad and to cry. Eventually, I am able to deal with it and move on. As in other areas of life, some sadness takes longer to get over. I guess I have adopted the attitude that I will do everything I can to take the best care of the animals that I can, and after that, I just have to understand and accept that this life we have chosen has a very front row seat to the life and death cycle of this life.
I think I am a bit melancholy due to the state of the world right now. I have no doubt that God is in control but it’s still concerning to me. Thankfully, my world hasn’t been horribly affected other than not being able to see and spend time with my friends and family. Everyone in my family still has jobs. The biggest change is that four out of five days my husband works from home. It’s been a bit of an adjustment but I am so thankful that he still is employed. It has given me a new appreciation for him…getting this up close reminder of corporate life. It makes me glad and thankful that my days are spent here on the farm.
Odin is still enjoying his birthday bone!
Now that Odin has turned two years old, he has entered the next phase of his Livestock Guardian training. He is now loose in the pasture from the time I finish morning chores until we finish evening chores. He is calming down nicely and seems to enjoy his new promotion to pasture supervisor. He wanders around and checks out every area of the pasture, chases birds and sleeps in the sun. He has even stopped chasing the chickens when I let them out after gathering eggs. He is becoming such a great dog!
This year we are waiting to breed for calves a little later so that we can, for the first time, have spring calves. Previous years, we have bred for fall calves so that we were calving during baseball season, but sadly this year, it doesn’t matter. So, the plan is to breed in July or August for April or May calves. This will be so nice because the calves can be out in the pasture with their mamas. We didn’t intend to have a December calf, but that’s just the way it worked out, but will avoid that from now on. Even though they were in the barn all winter, Mocha had chapped teats from freshening in the dead of winter.
One thing I am looking forward to is ordering chicks for our new batch of layers and broilers soon. Undeniably, there is something so cute about the chicks. Of course, the broilers grow out of that cuteness rather quickly. The layer chicks stay cute much longer!
Sales for my first three published nonfiction children’s books, My Name is Mocha, My Name is Merlin and We are Mocha’s Family weren’t doing too badly until Covid-19 disrupted our lives. The bulk of my sales have come from Amazon and from author visits to the schools. With the onset of the Covid-19 virus and the subsequent “distance learning” orders, my scheduled school visits were cancelled. Not only did this hurt sales but it made me sad. I really enjoy reading my books to the students and answering their questions.
My book Micah’s Day is finally in the process of being illustrated and I am so happy with the sketches. Other books: The Mysterious Midnight Visitor at de Good Life Farm, My Name is Odin and Tenney, The Part-time Chicken are in the works as well. I enjoy writing so much, but I have found it difficult to sit down and write the past few weeks. Just now do I feel like I am becoming myself again.
Odin with Mocha and Jersey in the background.
I will leave you with this picture of Odin learning to co-exist with the cattle. He gets so excited when they head out to the pasture and he frustrates them by getting in their way and wanting to play. Mocha seems to tolerate him better than Jersey does at this point. Usually on her way to or from the barn, Jersey inevitably sideways kicks at him. Hopefully she keeps missing!
ONE MORE THING! Here on the farm, as in life, you never know what is going to happen next! I just happened to look out the window while making dinner and saw Snickers and Hazel had helped themselves to an unauthorized dinner time in the pasture! It would be cute and funny if it didn’t pose the potential for a life-threatening condition commonly known as “pasture bloat”. When cattle have been on hay and in the barn all winter, transitioning to the richness of the grass can cause bloat in them. There are several ways to guard against this. One of the ways we guard against it is to make sure they aren’t too hungry when they go out to the pasture and by limiting their time in the pasture, beginning with thirty minutes and gradually increasing the time.
Well, I guess these two girls decided they weren’t happy with how we were managing their time in the pasture! It’s frightening because I don’t know when they decided to pull this little stunt. If they were in the pasture for hours, we could have some sick calves in the morning.
We ran out there and thankfully, they were obliging and were dutifully coaxed back into their little shelter area. But, in the meantime, we realized that the fence wasn’t on (later discovering that the wind had disconnected a wire on the other side of the property). How did they know? I can’t tell you how many times it has happened that the only way we knew the fence wasn’t on was that one of the cattle had discovered it and had taken advantage of the situation and helped themselves to the pasture.
If we caught them shortly after they broke through tonight, then they should be ok. It’s hard not knowing. They seemed ok after chores. Just praying that we caught them early!
Snickers and Hazel after being coaxed back into their shelter area after an unauthorized romp in the pasture
Hope you have enjoyed reading about some of the happenings here at de Good Life Farm. Come back soon! Feel free to comment or ask questions if you’d like!
I have been thinking and planning to write this post for several days now…and now it has an ending different than it would have been had I had written it then…but I will tell the story as it has unfolded.
Over the next several days after my last post, I became totally amazed at the intelligence and self-preservation this “stupid” chicken possessed…totally dispelling my beliefs that she was “stupid”. She got into the habit of waiting until it was dark when her flock was all settled in the coop into their spots on the roosting bar and in their nighttime “trance” and she would sneak into the coop and find a spot on the roosting bar. (If you don’t know chickens, they can be very ruthless, especially when one of them is ostracized for one reason or another, or when one of them is weak or has been injured). When I would go out in the mornings to feed them, she would patiently wait until I fed them and they were all busy eating. Then she would sneak out of the coop while I cleaned and filled the water. I would then put some feed on the cinder block outside the coop and she would eat in peace. She spent the days in the pasture finding worms, eating grass and taking care of the manure piles she found. This continued until yesterday!
Chicken (nka “Tenny”) eating feed off of block after escaping the coop
I found that if I went out too early at dusk to shut them in, she would get left out of the coop. She would wait until it was very dark to be sure they were all settled down for the night, deep into their nighttime “trance”.
This particular night, I watched her from the kitchen window. I saw her hanging around the coop, no doubt waiting for her flock to settle down so she could go in. It was nearly dark and I didn’t see her anymore, so I headed out to do my “chicken count” and shut the coop up. As I got to the door, I saw her huddled right in front of the door. I experienced simultaneous sadness and anger! She appeared at first to be dead, then I realized she must be in shock. There was blood spattered and feathers scattered all around. She must have been brutally attacked by one (or more) of her flock as she tried to enter the coop. Bless her heart! She looked so defeated. It broke my heart.
I didn’t have my gloves on (and I have this thing about picking up chickens without my gloves), so I headed back into the house to ask for Jeff’s help. He came out and as he reached down to pick her up, she ran away toward the corral. I was relieved that she was moving, however, in hindsight, I should have followed her to make sure she was safe in the shelter. I didn’t.
The next morning, when I came out to do chores, she wasn’t hanging around anywhere near the coop or the barn, like she usually is. I looked around and she was just inside the corral fence but out in the open, looking pretty bad, but still breathing. I felt immediate remorse. Because I hadn’t secured her safety in the corral last night, she had been beaten by the pelting rain, hail and wind during the night. I was thankful a predator hadn’t taken advantage of her condition. I felt so sad for her.
I gently carried her to the shelter farthest from where the chickens could find her and settled her into some hay. I honestly don’t think she will make it, but I wanted her to be comfortable. Bless her heart…she has fought hard against the bullies of her family and I am angry at them.
Chickens, by nature, are ruthless…which is one of the reasons I am not a fan of chickens themselves. I love having them, seeing them in the yard, and gathering and enjoying the eggs they provide, hearing my rooster greet the morning…but I am reminded again how mean they can be. It’s a sad day here at de Good Life Farm. Farm life is hard. Some days are good and rewarding and fun. Others are filled with hard and sad things…this is one of those days.
But, just so I don’t end on such a depressing note…Spring has sprung here at the farm and we have begun acclimating the cattle to the fresh, lush spring grass. We must do this gradually…so for 3-4 days now, they have been enjoying the pasture grass and sunshine for 30 minutes right before milking time. They are so cute. They romp and play like big puppies when they leave the barn and then settle down to the business of eating!
MochaJersey
I have noticed an increase in their milk over the last few days…don’t know if that is coincidence or just the result of them being happy to be outside some. They amazed me by responding to the “dinner bell” when it was time for them to come into the barn for feed and milking. Such good girls!
Snickers and Hazel
The calves (Snickers and Hazel) have become quite vocal when they think it’s time for them to be let out into the pasture. They almost sound angry if I don’t respond by opening the gate!
UPDATE!!!
Before this post got published, there has been an amazing turn-around in the health and well-being of the chicken who has shown herself to be tenacious, brave and have more stamina than I would even have imagined. I am going to name her “Tenny” for “tenacious”. Yesterday morning, after I found her, we got her all set up in one of the shelters with straw bedding, food and water. I didn’t want her to become a hawk’s free lunch just sitting in the pasture and I wanted to protect her from her flock when they got out of the coop.
“Tenny” on day 2 of recovery
She was so weak and listless when we put her in…I suspected when I checked on her at chore time, she would have died. But, NO! She was sitting up in the coop! Didn’t appear she had eaten anything, but she seemed more alert! And this morning when I went to the shelter to check on her, she was STANDING UP and it appeared she had eaten some food! I am absolutely flabbergasted that she is bouncing back. The wounds on her head are healing and she seems to be regaining strength!
And, in conclusion, I have to include this next photograph! Snickers and Hazel…once cattle get the taste of fresh spring grass, it must be like a drug to them…they want more and more. Of course, my job as their caretaker is to carefully manage how often and for how long they have access so that I can keep them healthy. But, every time I head to the barn for midday chores…or, for that matter, go outside for anything…they start yelling as if I have forgotten they want to get into the pasture. One day it’s Hazel, the next day it’s Snickers. Today it’s Hazel. I wish you could hear her. It isn’t a sweet, imploring “moo”…it is a very disgusted and demanding “moo”. Anyway, you can see her mooing at me in this photo!
Snickers and Hazel screaming to get into the pasture.
I know these are frustrating times. I sense a “covid-19” post in the near future. But, just keep safe…and find things to make you smile and always, count your blessings!
If you read my previous post, you may have wondered whether “that stupid chicken” survived her night outside the coop and if you have, the answer is “YES!” She was walking all over the place this morning when we went out for chores. I was thankful, but not looking forward to wondering every day if she was still alive.
“that stupid chicken” hanging out in the back pasture
Then, when I let the chickens out of the coop this afternoon (I leave them in the coop for the first part of the day so that they lay their eggs in the laying boxes. I learned this the hard way when I let them out first thing in the morning and upon finding only a very few of the expected eggs in the laying boxes, had to play “Easter morning” and locate the various places they had chosen to lay them. Therefore, they stay in the coop until the laying is done.), that chicken went over to the corral where the chickens always go right after being let out of the coop. She was trying to rejoin her flock!
trying to rejoin the flock
However, Merlin had other ideas! I heard him scolding and squawking and I turned around to find him chasing her away from the group! She tried several times to get around him and he was quite firm that she was not going to rejoin them. I got the feeling that he was saying “You haven’t been willing to come under my authority, so you can just be out here on your own!” I was shocked, but it was quite obvious that he was meant whatever he was saying to her!
We had a busy day today, so I didn’t really have time to monitor the situation until it was time to go out and milk this evening. I didn’t see her around, so figured she was off by herself somewhere. And when I was finished milking, it was still light enough the chickens hadn’t gone into their coop yet, so I just headed to the house.
When I returned at dusk, I jokingly said to my guys “OK! I’m taking bets on how many chickens will be in the coop. Thirteen or Fourteen?” Jeff said thirteen and Micah said fourteen. The whole way out to the coop I was playing out different scenarios in my head.
However, when I went into the coop I was pleasantly surprised…no, shocked, actually, to find all fourteen chickens were in the coop, settled down in quiet contentedness on the roosting bars. Even more surprising was the fact that the “stupid” chicken was settled on the roosting bar just one chicken down from Merlin! It looked like his discipline had the desired effect! I was amazed…TOTALLY amazed!
Merlin is definitely a “hands on” overseer!
Merlin has amazed me from the very beginning. His intelligence is obvious and the innate understanding of his jobs here on the farm is quite impressive. But, this recent example of his wisdom in disciplining one of his girls, ostracizing her and then bringing her back into the fold just really was more than I ever imagined he was capable of! It makes me wonder if there shouldn’t be a “My Name is Merlin” Volume Two!
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I like everyone else have been busy wrapping my head around the events going on in the world. But, just had to share with you our most recent dilemma here on the farm.
Well, Merlin, our rooster, and I are in the same boat…EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED with one of the hens! (If you have read my book “My Name is Merlin“, you know he has really owned his job of managing the flock!) The trouble began last week when I accidentally forgot to secure the chicken door open when gathering eggs and the flock got caught outside their coop in the middle of a snow and sleet storm. Totally my fault! I went out to shut them in for the night and couldn’t figure out why one of them was hanging around beside the coop instead of going in.
I realized what I had done, quickly opened and secured the door, profusely told them I was so sorry and scurried the soaked flock from the cattle shelter where they were hiding out, into the safety and dry cover of their coop. I began counting them as they found their places on the perch: one, two three…..thirteen! WHAT? There are supposed to be fourteen! So, I went out to figure out who was missing and found one of the Cuckoo Marans. I literally thirty minutes chasing her around, in my boots that were NOT meant for snow and mud, trying to get her to go into the coop. FINALLY, she complied and I locked them in and headed into the house. As I was walking away, I heard Merlin giving her a very stern and loud talking-to!
A similar scenario has played out each night when it was time to shut them in. I go in after milking chores are finished, count them and shut them safely in for the night. (Now, our flock, like most flock, head to their coop as dusk descends. Our flock is “encouraged” to head that way by Merlin, however, I know that other flocks tend to do this even without a rooster to guid them.) Each night, the count has been thirteen, and I have had to coax or chase THE SAME HEN into the coop.
Earlier this week, she was hanging around and she flat-out refused to head toward the coop! She was deliberately NOT going in! She was hanging around the barn. I threw a few pine cones at her to get her going the right direction and I thought that had helped, but NOPE! She doubled back and left the area.
Once I actually got my boot on her, keeping her from getting past me and she started squawking! By this time, Merlin had heard the noise of her squawking and sound of me yelling at her and came out to lend his support! Finally, she began running and squawking toward the coop but ran right past it! Merlin had had enough! He went to where she was hunkered down and totally “dominated” her. She stayed down for a few minutes and then squawking, got up and ran for the coop! He was yakking at her and she was squawking, but he got his message across to her and she complied with his authority! As I followed them in the coop, shut and locked the door, I could hear Merlin STILL giving her a piece of his mind! I couldn’t help but smile!
Merlin with his girls…one of the black ones at the front of the group is “the stupid chicken”.
I thought we had made progress because the next couple of nights she complied…she was the LAST one to go in, but she went in without much fuss. Tonight, was the last straw!
Everyone was in…except for her! I could hear her squawking while I was milking and between cows, I had gone out and tried to encourage her to go into the coop since everyone else was already in there and I could hear Merlin talking to her. But, NO! She wouldn’t.
I tried. Jeff tried. Odin even tried. She did end up on the yard side of the coop which usually then, she will go in. But tonight, she refused! She went up to the chicken door, acted like she was going to go in and then turned around and left. So, I opened the whole door. She did the same thing! Walked right up like she was going to go in and then deliberately turned around and left.
So, I told Merlin “Sorry, buddy. I tried, but I’ve had enough.” I counted to make sure the thirteen were all in safely, and they were. I shut the door, locked it and said “ok, stupid chicken. You are on your own.” I walked away! I couldn’t believe I was walking away but I am just that done!
I do hope she survives the night. I hope she learns her lesson. As I entered the door to the house, I looked back toward the coop. She was at the door flying up at the coop trying to get in, but I didn’t go back out. I stood my ground! I knew that if I did, it would be the same thing all over again.
I feel a tiny bit guilty. I hope Merlin isn’t upset all night, but I know for a fact she has frustrated him quite a bit too. Evidence of his discipline is obvious by the feathers missing on her head. In Jeff’s words, her one egg just isn’t worth the hassle every night. I must agree. Good night and good luck, you, stupid chicken!
