I’ll be the first to admit there is nothing magical about mucking a stall or milking a cow. Neither is there anything magical about cleaning house, or picking up your toys (if you are a child), UNLESS you make it magical! Remember the old Disney song “Whistle while you work”… I’ll bet you can hear the tune in your head just by my mentioning those four words!
Life can be more enjoyable if we learn to enjoy the things we HAVE to do…if we learn to find the magic in doing them…the spark! I will give you a few examples:
1. try making a game of picking up toys with your child or grandchild.
2. put on some music while you are cleaning house or doing dishes…maybe even dance with the broom.
3. play a game while traveling…alphabets on signs, state license plates and a U.S. map, find a red-colored car…etc., you get the idea.
4. take a walk in the rain (WITHOUT an umbrella!) and splash in the puddles!
I play this game with my granddaughter when it’s time to go in the house after playing outside. She never wants to go in. She loves playing in the back yard…but I have no issues getting her to come in if I say three simple words: “I’m gonna win.” With that, she is off and running for the back door and there are no tears about leaving the “playground”, as she calls it!
So, we have a barn, obviously, right? We have a radio in the barn that plays a local country station (shout out to @WCOL 92.3 Columbus!). There are a few songs in particular that make me want to dance and even if I am milking, I struggle NOT to get up and dance. One day I was either getting ready to milk or had just finished when one of these songs came on and I DID IT! I DANCED in the middle of the barn!
Oh! I got the looks and not just from the cows but from my husband who happened to walk back into the barn just as I was getting started…but I didn’t let that stop me. I just enjoyed myself!
There are lots of ways to make the mundane magical. Just try looking at the world from a child’s perspective. The buds on the trees and the new blooming flowers, a robin’s nest with brilliant blue eggs in it, a flock of geese flying overhead, the delighted squeals of children at a neighborhood park…all of these things are magical, if you just take the time to appreciate them.
When you look at the world with fresh eyes, you not only can enjoy the ordinary and the mundane, but you can appreciate the blessings you may take for granted every day! There are lots of things out there to make us grow up too fast, or make us forget what it was like to be a child of wonder! When you have the chance to live a little, let your hair down and dance with the mop, or dance in the barn or whistle while you work! Whatever it might be, DO IT! I guarantee you won’t be sorry…and I’ll bet the people around you will notice and you might find that familiar lilt in your step or a more frequent smile on your face!
Moon setting in the west as the sun rises in the east. A new day.
Just like laughter is a part of life, so sadness is as well. Death is part of life and therefore, it is a very real part of farm life. And, even if not death, sadness and failure are parts of life and definitely a part of farm life.
On the farm there are two kinds of death: the expected and the unexpected. Both are hard. Both are sad. We mourn the deaths of the animals involved whether a planned or unexpected death. Life is precious!
People have said to me over the years that they just wouldn’t/couldn’t “name the animals” that were going to be used for food. I have explained to them again and again that as each life is born (or hatched), the preciousness of life is not dependent upon the purpose of that new life. It wouldn’t matter to me if the animal was named “A”, “B”, “C”, or “T-Bone”, it hurts when a living being that you have cared for day and night dies. The vacancy is almost palpable.
We have had a pregnant cow die right before our eyes just days before her calves (yes, twins) were due. We have had steers and heifers processed whose scheduled demise caused two weeks of tears prior to that scheduled date. We have lost laying hens for an unknown reason and we have lost a whole flock of layers, including a wonderful and beautiful rooster, to a predator. We have lost meat chickens to unknown causes as well as the scheduled processing date. Death is a loss, planned or unplanned, and because we are emotionally vested in each of our critters here on the farm, the death of each one hurts.
I have to admit that the unplanned deaths, like the layer hens, Griffin, the rooster, Heidi, the pregnant cow, and I’ll include our golden retriever, Beau, in that, who we lost last summer at the young age of four and a half years of age, to complications from the heat wave, hurt really bad. I feel sometimes like I have shed buckets of tears since coming to the farm, and that is hard to deal with, but again, all death is difficult to deal with.
So, what do I do when faced with devastating hurt? Well, I might want to curl up in a ball and cry, or hide under a blanket, but when there are still animals here depending on me for food and comfort and care, that just isn’t an option. So, regardless of what I FEEL like doing, I just do the next thing that has to be done.
If it’s milking time, I milk. If it’s feeding time, I feed. There are still a lot of critters here on the farm that need care, not to mention the humans that live here as well. JUST DO THE NEXT THING.
It might feel mechanical at first. You might have to force yourself, but I have found that there is comfort in routine. Knowing that I have to go milk and feed the animals helps me get up when I wouldn’t be able to otherwise; it helps me think of someone else besides myself and it reminds me that regardless of how sad I am, that there are still living beings counting on me for their well-being.
Life is hard! There is no question about it. However, there are ways to 1) counteract the difficulties and, 2) help yourself get past them! Focus on the positives. Focus on the lives who still depend on you. Stay with your routine. Don’t give in to curling up in a ball.
Sun rising on a new day as the moon sets in the west.
As the moon rises and the sun sets on your hard day(s), try to allow the hurts and disappointments of the day to be laid to rest with the day. Remember: the sun will rise again tomorrow and each day after that and before you know it, you will be back in the swing of things, with the sadness a memory, but not a debilitating condition…and just DO THE NEXT THING!
I hope this post has been a help and an encouragement to you. If so, subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss the next post in this series “Life Lessons Learned on the Farm”. Have a great day!
*Disclaimer – I am not a therapist. This blog is not intended to function as counseling for severe depression. Seek help if your sadness and depression is more than a reaction to a sad life circumstance. I am just sharing what has helped me.
We have now been on the farm for nearly six and one-half years. There have been happy times and sad times, productive times and less-than-desirably productive times, times of elation and times of despair, times of exhaustion and times of rest and through all of those ups and downs, there have been a lot of lessons learned…life lessons…that go beyond the scope of farm life and yet envelope it completely.
This will be the first of several posts in a series called “Life Lessons Learned on the Farm”. I hope these posts will make you laugh, smile and even possibly relate to your own life lessons.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LAUGH TO KEEP FROM CRYING!
To be honest, I am still working on this one…but I have been able to implement this lesson a few times! You have heard the old saying “Don’t cry over spilled milk”? Well, the person who said that obviously hadn’t just spent twenty or thirty minutes in preparation for, and milking that cow who decided to shift her weight, or scratch an itch, or kick at an annoying fly, or any number of other reasons and as a result, KICKED OVER THE BUCKET of fresh milk.
Of course, there is the chance to be thankful that’s all she did…because you can salvage the milk left in the bucket, but when she firmly plants her foot INSIDE the bucket of milk, the whole thing has to be pitched! Believe me! That has happened on a few occasions and laughter was NOT what came out of my mouth!
Then, there are the incidents that cause more work; incidents that could have been avoided…but weren’t, and the result is more work. Fussing and fuming doesn’t undo the damage, but finding the humor in it definitely can lighten the stress load.
For instance, leaving a gate open behind you inevitably and eventually will result in a bovine finding their way out of where they are SUPPOSED to be and into a place they ARE NOT supposed to be! One morning, I realized there was manure ALL OVER our back yard, and I am talking eight to ten piles! I couldn’t figure it out because everyone was where they were supposed to be…and then…I saw it. THE OPEN GATE! Obviously, at some point during the night, Mocha and Jersey had discovered the gate was left open and they took a midnight stroll around the back yard (so thankful our back yard is fenced in), eating to their hearts’ content and depositing their evidence all over the place. But, they had been “smart” enough to find their way back to their pasture before milking time the next morning! They acted all innocent but the proof was in the pudding, so to speak!
And then there is the most recent occurrence of this negligence when a gate was left open (do you see a familiar theme here?) and Elsie made her escape into the newly greening pasture. Now, this is a little scary, because too much of the richness of the spring pasture could actually be deadly to her…but 1) she actually made her escape while we were out there and so we could shut the gate before anyone else could escape; and 2)because we were out there when it happened, we put all hands on deck to get her back in. Three humans and one amazingly intelligent Odin (Great Pyrenees, just in case you are new to following my farm antics) worked together and got her safely back into the pasture where she belonged, even though she was trying every avenue available to her to further her adventure!
I think we all had a huge adrenalin rush as we tried to outsmart her, block her passage to the rest of the pasture and then watch Odin exhibiting a magnanimous adrenalin rush as he ran circles around her in an effort to keep her contained to one area. It was an amazing rescue and even though there were some harsh words in the heat of the moment, once she was safely back in her space, and we could all breathe a sigh of relief, the humor of the situation began to explode!
Along with finding the laughter in things, comes the realization that the laughter may not come immediately. Sometimes it takes some time and space from the situation to be able to see the humor in it.
For instance, when Fred and Barney first came to the farm, Fred was a little high strung. He escaped (with a lead rope on, thankfully) from the first person who had a hand on him…leaped through the electric fence INTO the pasture…ran around and seemed to settle down then as soon as we relaxed…he ran THROUGH the electric fence on the back side of the pasture!
This could have been REALLY bad! there was nothing but neighbors’ 5-acre lots and a road and a cornfield facing him. I have to admit that I panicked! Jeff went under the fence and I walked/ran around to hopefully head Fred off if he headed for the open road! As we got to him, ever so slowly so as not to spook him, what did he do? He hopped BACK THROUGH the electric fence back into the pasture where he was supposed to be! WOW! It was scary while we were going through, but as we retell the story to others, we laugh and joke! It IS funny! It just wasn’t funny in the moment!
So, what can we learn from this? Find the laughter. It won’t always be present in the moment, but eventually, you may be able to laugh! The other thing is “this too shall pass”. The spilled milk gets absorbed and cleaned up. The manure gets picked up. The cattle get back into the pasture behind a closed gate, and on and on. Trying to remember that as long as it all ends well, you will have a funny story to tell…may help you get through it, if you can’t laugh in the moment!
And, please know that I realize that there isn’t always laughter. Some things just aren’t funny; they are hurtful…we will address that as well in an upcoming post!
So, in the meantime, laugh! It’s like good medicine!
Fred (l) and Barney (r) arrive at de Good Life Farm.
They arrived in the back of a pick up, looking adorable and docile. These little guys have made history…they are the first calves not to be born here on the farm. Some of you might want to know that they are Jersey/Hereford cross. We think they are adorable.
We put their halters on them and then the lead ropes so that we would have some control over them.
Barney getting his halter put on.
We gave them some milk in a bucket to welcome them, which they eagerly lapped up very quickly. Fred (purple halter) decided to take advantage of his handler not paying complete attention and bolted away…he was caught but not before he had literally climbed through the electric fence into the pasture. This, of course, got Herbie and Elsie all excited!
He was caught and brought back to the milk in the bucket, which he happily helped Barney clean up. We then proceeded to properly introduce them to the pasture. Bless their hearts, they had not experienced an electric fence yet. We took them in on lead ropes and let Herbie and Elsie check them out. We showed them the hay and they seemed calm so we unhooked them from the lead ropes, exited the pasture and watched.
Herbie and Elsie followed Fred and Barney everywhere they went! If the calves ran, so did Herbie and Elsie.
“follow the leader”
Fred is definitely the one who seems to be destined to push the boundaries. Typically, with our other calves, we already know their personalities, since we’ve been with them and handled them from birth, and they know us and what to expect here on the farm. These new calves are strong little guys and they don’t know us and we don’t know them.
We expected they would test the boundaries…which they did…especially Fred. He got zapped and made that adorable sound that I have no idea how to spell. And then he proceeded to get zapped a few more times! Jeff seemed convinced they would be ok, so he headed off to do something else…I stood and watched and what did I see? Fred sailed right through the electric fence on the other side of where I was standing.
“feeling their oats” and enjoying the new space
I yelled “one’s out!” I ran to the barn to get the lead ropes and Jeff rolled under the fence to get over to the other side where he got through. He was free and who knew how far he would run before we could catch him, if we even COULD catch him? (Honestly, I had visions of when Snickers ran the entire pasture, crossed the road and nearly disappeared into the cornfield.)
I then proceeded to go around the pasture to head him off if he decided to head for the road. Oh my! I got all the way down the driveway, around to the other side of the pasture and up almost to where he was investigating. I was walking slowly so as not to scare him into running away…and what did he do?
HE CLIMBED BACK THROUGH THE FENCE!!! I stood there both shocked and amused! I think he realized his buddy wasn’t with him and evidently had no plans to follow. Now he had a reason to stay!
Aren’t they adorable??
We left them alone while we milked and did chores. We have kept a watchful eye on them since and they definitely seem to be settling down. I went out before I headed to bed and they were all four (Herbie, Elsie, Fred and Barney) watching me, but the important thing is that they were all accounted for INSIDE the fence!
I will have to update you as time goes on so that you can know how they acclimate. I’d be fine with time passing without any chaotic surprises for awhile!
Now on to the next big event…finding a future wife for Odin. STAY TUNED! Oh, and speaking of Odin…the calves are just about the same size as he is! He wants to play with them so badly! There is usually something going on here at the farm!
Odin, King of de Good Life Farm, Protector of the Six Realms
I am a storyteller…not stories in the sense that I am a liar…but I tell stories that must be told…REAL LIFE STORIES! To date, all of my published works are nonfiction books for children. They are stories that must be told about our animals who cannot tell their own stories; they just live their lives and I feel like they count on me to tell their stories.
Yesterday, a story happened in front of my eyes. I often say that I wish I could capture the videos/pictures my brain sees and somehow share them with my readers…but, alas, stories with pictures are the best I can do. This story could have been a horror story. It could have been a devastating tear-jerker. But, instead, it is a story of a hero…more accurately, two heroes who worked together to do the job that they were created to do, and the result was an heroic rescue which averted the demise of some of de Good Life’s residents!
You’ve probably guessed one of the heroes…and if you guessed that gorgeous “white lion” pictured up above, you are correct! Odin is an amazing protector of “his” chicken flock and our cattle (Have you read My Name is Odin!?). He has owned the role and has shown himself to be trustworthy! The second hero isn’t as big, not as loud and not as fast, but he is beautiful in his own rite and has a very important job to do guarding from his vantage point, which he does quite well (if you haven’t read My Name is Merlin!, then you MUST!)!
Merlin with a few of his girls after their close call with the hawk
I will start at the beginning…it’s a very good place to start. Typically, I do not open the door of my chicken coop to let the chickens free range until afternoon, so that their egg-laying is finished while they are in the coop and I do not have to replay Easter morning egg hunts every day. This day was no different.
After letting them out, gathering and bringing the eggs in, I was sitting at the dining room table talking to my mom and dad and watching out the sliding glass door as I often do. I saw some chickens fly…which they do from time to time…and then it looked like one of them had hopped up on the fence post! Now I had never seen them do THAT…and less than a second later, in HORROR! I realized that IT WASN’T A CHICKEN…IT….WAS….A….HAWK!!! I literally screamed those dreaded words, “IT’S A HAWK!”! I sprang up and ran out on the deck and immediately heard Odin in his biggest and fiercest bark warning the chickens of the predator. My first thought was “Oh my word! How brazen to fly around and then perch on the fence post!”
I watched for a split second in amazement as Odin was doing his best to scare it away. He was literally high jumping and barking his loudest, meanest bark and running around like crazy! Thankfully, it finally flew away!
The fence post that hawk DARED to perch on…just next to the chicken coop
But, at the same time Odin was going on the offensive to get rid of the danger, I saw Merlin going on the defensive: taking care of his girls, talking up a storm to them, telling them what to do, where to go and where not to go…gathering them close to himself so he could keep them safe! Some of them had been in the cows’ shelter and some of them were halfway between the shelter and their coop and some of them were near the coop! The chickens that hadn’t been near Merlin were the ones I had seen flying toward the coop for safety!
The chickens busy working on the manure pile
I ran back through the door into the house and breathlessly announced I was headed out to make sure it was gone and that everyone was safe (and yes, I had a grass-fed beef bone in hand to reward Odin for his diligence). Once outside, it took several counts to make sure the chickens were accounted for and ok. I went into the coop to make sure and three of the hens were cowered under their roosting bars, as far back into the back corner of the coop as they could get. I realized they must have been the hawk’s targets. They were pretty badly shaken, but safe and unharmed!
Where I found the 3 hens cowering…no doubt they were the ones most traumatized by the hawk.
Leaving the coop, I wanted to check on Merlin and the other hens again, and when I got outside I was again amazed! Merlin was standing on the very top of the manure pile, standing guard. His body language was almost defiant and he was chattering up a storm. It was almost like he was standing up there as a beacon to the hawk, just making sure he was gone and wasn’t coming back! And the whole time, he was talking and chattering as if to say “And don’t come back!”
As I left the pasture, Odin was happily gnawing on his treat for being an EXCELLENT livestock guardian! And me? I was filled with awe and wonder at the amazing creatures that God has created! Watching them do what has been hard-wired into them was amazing, working as a team as if they had rehearsed it!
Odin enjoying his treat after a job well done…a raw beef bone!
I know my adrenaline was still pumping for quite awhile after the excitement, but I was mostly just feeling so thankful! This story easily could have been a tragedy but instead, it was an amazing story of two heroes who worked together like a well-oiled machine to take care of a dangerous predator to their flock! I am so thankful for them both!
I’m sure you are aware that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Different people have different thoughts about this day. Some people say “It’s just another Hallmark holiday designed to get you to buy cards and candy.”, but still they participate. Other people get very serious and take the opportunity to show their significant other special love in the form of a card, flowers, candy or a dinner out. Still others feel it is just another day and allow it to pass without much fuss or fanfare. Where do your thoughts fall?
Personally, I would love to have my husband acknowledge it and make me feel special in some way, but that’s just not who he is. I normally don’t get cards for other special days, so I have learned not to expect one on this day either. Oh, yes! At first, I was hurt and disappointed, but as the years have passed, it’s just one of those things I have gotten used to. I do feel kind of jealous when my friends get flowers, candy or jewelry, etc. from their husbands, but I don’t allow myself to dwell on it.
So, what is love? In the Bible, 1 Corinthians chapter thirteen spells out some of the attributes of love: patience, kindness, not envious or boastful, not arrogant or rude, not self-seeking, not irritable, not keeping a record of wrongs, rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, and true love never ends. In other Bible passages, it indicates that humility, seeking peace and looking after the interests of another are also indications of love.
Through the years, I have heard other definitions: “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” (Robert A. Heinlein) And, according to the Urban Dictionary, love is “giving a person the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to.” WOW!
I have always been a person who has had high expectations and that personal characteristic has caused my heart to break many times. So, I have learned a couple of things in order to protect my heart: 1) Expect nothing, then anything is a nice surprise; and, 2) Turn it around and instead of focusing on myself, make someone else feel loved.
Other factors that can affect how we give and receive love might be “Where did you learn to love?” or “Who taught you what love is?” I grew up in a loving home with two parents who TO THIS DAY still are “in love” with each other! They will celebrate 65 years of marriage next month and it is obvious to me by how they talk to each other, how they talk about each other and how they treat each other that they are still “in love”! How precious that is!
Not only do they still love each other, they love their four kids, their four kids’ spouses, their eight grandchildren and their six (soon to be seven) great-grandchildren! Often, my mornings are blessed with a message like “Good morning, precious daughter” from my dad or “Good morning, sweetie” from my mom!
I grew up watching my mom exhibit her love to her family by DOING…cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc. You know what I mean! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!! Now, as a mama and nana, I find myself showing love in some of the same ways! We definitely learn what love is and how to express it by watching those we grew up with.
However, in the same way, I have friends who didn’t grow up with this kind of demonstrative love and they have struggled to find their own way of expressing love…what it is and what it isn’t. Their love is no less genuine or heart-felt, I think they have just had to learn how to express it without the guidance of those people in their early lives.
So, what says love to you? Here are some of the things that say “love” to me, in no particular order:
use words and tell me that you love me and that I’m important to you.;
be kind to me, and not just on a particular day;
be interested in my day…ask me!
surprise me with something nice once in a while, and it doesn’t have to be big or expensive!
be happy to see me
look into my eyes
be deliberate about engaging with me
do something with me: take a walk, window shop, go get coffee, watch a movie, etc.
miss me when you don’t see me and tell me so
hug me
be deliberate about spending some time with me
give grace to me
maybe DON’T say everything that comes into your mind
forgive my mistakes
So, if these things feel like love to me, can I use any of these things to make someone else feel loved? Or, better yet, you know your special someone: what would say “love” to them? For some people, it’s having a day to themselves to do what they want to do. Now me? That’s not EVER what I would choose. On my special days, I want to be surrounded by those people that I love. But, you get where I am going with this. Take the focus off of yourself and focus on making someone ELSE feel special!
Take the chance to grow! Don’t wait for someone to hurt and disappoint you. Flex your “love muscles” and do something nice for someone else; help someone else feel loved and important! I guarantee you it will warm your heart as well as the recipient of your loving actions! And, it will take your mind off of what is or isn’t being done for you!
Have a great day and week and MAKE IT a Happy Valentine’s Day for yourself and someone you love!
Hi everyone! Well, it’s 2021 and sometimes it feels like we’re living in the Twilight Zone. It’s hard to believe that January is over and February is beginning. I just wanted to take a quick minute to update you on what’s going on in my world.
MACBOOK PRO BITES THE DUST
Last fall, my 10-year-old MacBook Pro decided it was going to retire with no notice and it left me stranded, trying to figure out how to recover my data and how to get a computer I could use again. Although I am definitely an “Apple girl”, my husband who works on PCs for a living said he would suggest I look for a PC, so in case something happened to it, he could work on it. The idea made sense, even though I wasn’t happy at all to have to re-tool my brain to the PC way of doing things after using a Mac for 10 years.
Thankfully we found a refurbished one on eBay and got it for a good price. I also found a local recovery company who was able to recover most of my data. So, I have been trying to get use to this new computer and find the files I needed to work on. It hasn’t been fun, but I am slowly making progress.
This meant I had months I couldn’t work on books, calendars (that were planned for 2021 debut) and had no access to my farm documents during a very busy time. I had to let some things go, but it all worked out and eventually will get the calendars done and get back on track.
UPCOMING VIRTUAL AUTHOR VISIT
I am excited that this week I received confirmation that a virtual author visit is in the works for March for a school that I was scheduled to visit last year the very week that all the schools got shut down for COVID-19! Although it will be different and not quite as fun as being with the children in person, I will be thrilled to be able to answer some of their questions via video and hopefully read one or two of my books to them! I am thankful that they still want to do this with me!
FIRST BOOK IN NEW SERIES COMING SOON
I am happy to announce that the final edits to sketches for illustrations for the first book in my new “a Micah Book” series have been submitted. When the corrections have been made and I have approved the final sketches, the illustrator will add color and the manuscript will be off to the presses!
This book and coming series is very special to me as I wrote the first two books in this series when my almost twenty-year-old son was just two or three years old. Through the years, I have looked for illustrators and publishers, but until a couple of years ago when I first began writing and publishing the “de Good Life Farm” books, the whole idea seemed elusive.
The first book in this series takes the reader through a day in the life of “toddler” Micah with an catchy rhyming text . The illustrations will either be watercolor or colored pencil. I am eager for this first book to be published! Watch for news!
The second book in the series, Just the Right Size, is not a rhyming book but tells of the familiar plight of the toddler of being to small to do the things they desire to do. The illustrations will also be either watercolor or colored pencil.
THE TALES AND TAILS OF DE GOOD LIFE FARM
I have again begun working on the “history” book of de Good Life Farm called The Tales and Tails of de Good Life Farm. This book is very emotionally-charged to work on. As I allow the words to flow on the page, the memories of the events flood my mind. Because it is so emotional to write, I can’t work on it for long periods of time, but when it is finished, it will be a very special book!
It will include all the happenings and events, births and deaths, from the beginning of the farm until now. It will make you laugh and cry! There will also be an Appendix at the end of the book filled with photographs that will help to bring to life the events on the pages. Watch for it, hopefully is 2022!
BEAUTIFUL JERSEY FACES
And now, I will leave you with two precious faces…on the left is Mocha’s daughter, Elsie, and on the right, her brother, Herbie.
Elsie and Herbie, January 2021.
Have a great first week of February! If you haven’t taken advantage of the sale on the set of my first five de Good Life Farm books, and you are interested, be sure to check it out at www.penitpublications.com. Search my name, Diane Orr, and you will see the offer.
I use this photo as a real life example of the contrast of death of a dream and the beauty of the small gifts in life.
We all deal with disappointments in life. Sometimes it feels like some of us have to deal with more disappointment than others. There are many things that can disappoint us. Our lives might not be turning out how we had envisioned they would. Perhaps, a devastating blow comes out of nowhere, like the loss of love, job or another sudden loss. But, I believe there is one truth about disappointments that we all share: How we view life’s disappointments will determine how we recover.
This post is kind of an “aside” to my previous post “Death of a Dream” Parts 1 and 2 and yet it is also a continuation. Death of a dream is one cause of disappointment, as it has been in my case. However, there truly are many causes of disappointment, some of which I have named above, but I know there are probably as many causes as there are people out there!
But, whatever the cause, disappointment left unchecked can lead to sadness, depression and despair. However, disappointment can also spur you on to a new vision, a new plan, and a new hope. It’s all in how you see it and your determination not to live there.
Now I know that some disappointments are much more difficult to deal with than others. The disappointment that led me to write my “Death of a Dream” posts was devastating and life-altering to me. It caused me much pain, many tears, and a feeling of hopelessness.
The sunset, depicting the end of one day…with the hope of a new day just hours away.
Thankfully, that sadness and hopelessness has worked its way into the ability to see and develop a different dream, or many dreams. One way that happened for me was to take the advice of someone very near and dear to me. In general terms, their advice was to accept what is and not expect anything more than what is. For instance: a dog will always act like a dog and never like a bird; a cow will not act like a horse, and a bull will never act like a kitty cat. So, I had to see my situation for what it was and learn to accept what was.
This was not an easy task. The dreams of “what could be” will linger as long as you give them life. When I determined that the dream of whatcould bewas truly dead, it then freed me up to accept what is and to make a new dream based on that reality. I suppose that is survival mode kicking in?
There has been a running joke with some people who know me. My blood type happens to be B+…and it has been the joke how perfect that is because I have a “be positive” personality…most of the time. However, when my dream of what could be died, I felt no positivity…only sadness and disappointment.
But, being who I am, I could not live there. First, I am a daughter of the King of Kings and I believe in His sovereignty. This means that I believe He loves me and that He has a plan for me. His Word tells me that He will work all things together for my good and for His glory (Romans 8:28). So, when disappointment comes…and it will, I am human and must process it with my human emotions. However, my human emotions are not the last word.
I believe that if my God allows something in my life, even if I don’t know the purpose for it, I must trust Him. I must believe that He knows what He is doing. I can’t, as a mere human, see all that He is working on and I have to leave “being God” to God!
So, how do I do this? First, I fill my mind with Truth that reminds me that this was allowed into my life for some reason. It is what it is and so I must now find a way to move on. That “moving on” can take a short amount of time, or it can take a very long amount of time. But, my mind is key to my recovery. Philippians 4:8 puts it like this: “...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think on these things.”
Sunrise…the hope of a new day has dawned…however, what will be is still a bit foggy…
Once my mind has settled on the fact of what is…I now move to the “what can be” stage. In my situation, the death of one of my dreams was quite devastating to me, but as the weeks and months have passed, I have found a new way to live without that particular dream. It has freed me up so much to see little things as blessings….little individual dreams, if you want to see it that way.
Another much lesser example has happened this week. Besides being a writer at heart, I am also a photographer. Perhaps this is because I would describe myself as a visual person. Anyway, I often give photographic gifts to those I love.
I had a particular gift in mind and in order to make that gift I needed to locate some pictures I had taken in 2012 (not only 8 yeas ago but 3 computers ago!). I have searched through every device I have looking for these six photographs. Today, I finally had to come to the realization that I was not going to find them. So, now what?
I decided that I will just have to go to the places I took the original photographs and retake them…and then I thought, “Who knows? Maybe the new photos will even be better than the originals.” And then, hope dawned! It occurred to me that I could expand on what I had done in the past and even perhaps this could turn into a project that others might like to own as well! Amazing! Now instead of thinking of the drudgery of having to recreate something I had already created, I am excited at the prospect of creating something MORE than I had originally created!
That’s how HOPE works, at least for me. It’s a strange journey from sadness and despair, past anger, through mourning, to acceptance, and eventually to a new plan with new hope!
I hope in some small way, this post has been an encouragement to you. If it has, please comment below and let me know! That will be an encouragement to me!
This precious little kitty caused a whole lot of chaos this morning just trying to get back into the barn after a night of carousing in the nearby fields and tormenting the field mice that live in them! The morning was going pretty much the same as the rest of the mornings usually go. I headed into the barn, got my milking supplies in order and headed into the stall to clean Jersey first.
When I was finished with Jersey, I left the stall and was preparing to head into Mocha’s stall when I heard a strange noise. I looked and saw that Gandalf (our sweet barn cat pictured above) had jumped up from the outside of the barn and had come through the barn window in Jersey’s stall. As I was standing there being amazed at his agility, Jersey reacted in a big way!
His sudden presence in the window scared Jersey so badly that she jumped! Not only did she JUMP, but she was determined to get as far from that window as she could get, so she side-stepped– first, away from the window toward the stall door. In side-stepping, she stepped on the bucket I sit on to milk…and needless to say, her weight totally obliterated it!
[If you will look in the picture, you will see the window is slightly open but it is barred. From the early days here on the farm, Gandalf has been an expert at coming and going through that window whenever the “man door” was closed. However, I am not sure that Jersey has ever been in the stall when he has done that.]
Thankfully she didn’t fall, but it took her a few determined steps to clear herself of the bucket and free herself into the main part of the barn! If the big barn door had been open, she would have “flown the coop”! Thankfully, it was shut which stopped her in her tracks, but I could tell she was still actively looking for an escape route!
Then, I glanced over at Gandalf. Jersey had scared him so badly with her reaction that even though he had landed safely inside the barn, he was now frantically trying to climb back up the barn wall to to get back to the safety of the window! When he finally did, he just sat there, unsure of what to do! Seeing his dilemma, I went outside by way of the front door and called to him, and then left the “man door” open so that he could enter by that door and not have to attempt the window trick again!
I went back into the stall and kicked the broken bucket out of the way so it wouldn’t prevent Jersey from getting back into her stall and so she wouldn’t trip on it. Then I realized that there were blue bucket pieces all over her stall. I couldn’t leave them in there so I scooted them with my boot over into a pile and out of the stall (I have been dealing with a flair up of my sliding hiatal hernia, so bending over is OUT OF THE QUESTION!)
Finally, Jersey calmed down enough to realize she was safe and went back into her stall. And then, guess what?? Jeff came back in from doing his chores totally oblivious of all that had just transpired! HAHA! Timing is everything! O well. “All’s well that ends well”, they say! Gandalf was in the barn. Jersey was back in her stall. I hadn’t reinjured myself and no one and nothing was worse for the wear…well, nothing except the bucket!
It is the dawning of a new day for me. My new website, www.dianeorrauthor.com is pretty much ready for launch! It’s scary…hope it all goes well, but guess I won’t know until it’s up and running!
This website offers more than just a link to my blog, but you will be able to access this blog from it. It offers a place to purchase my books, directly from my publisher. It offers a section where you can see what projects I am working on and what is coming up next. It also offers a way to contact me, other than just in response to one of my posts.
In addition to purchasing my books, eventually I will have other products that can be purchased: calendars of Golden Love Retrievers and Puppies; calendars of de Good Life Farm; de Good Life Farm t-shirts; hats; postcards and prints of some of my favorite photographs and so much more…eventually!
But, please be patient and please be kind! Just like when the gorgeous sunrise indicates the start of the new day, we still don’t know how the day is going to go…and sometimes it doesn’t go well, even with our best intentions. So, understand that there may be kinks and problems once the website is launched…but we will get it all worked out and eventually it will run smoothly and hopefully, will be a thing of beauty. If you do have issues, please use the Contact Me form on the new website to let me know of your issues and I will work to get resolved as quickly as possible!
So, please subscribe and share if you like what you see and if you would like to continue following my journey as farmer, photographer and author! I am pleased to have you along!
