Let’s be honest! Farm life is hard. Rewarding but hard! Especially when the circumstances are beyond your control….like the pasture being too wet for the cattle to be in it during the spring, and a heat wave once they can get in and start eating which means it stops growing! Top that off with a bad growing year for hay so, the year we have to feed hay all summer long…it costs a lot!
Yes, there are many rewards for living this good and hard life…the joy of caring for animals, the ability to know where your food comes from…literally knowing what that animal put in it’s mouth every day of it’s life and that you know it was raised with respect and in the most healthy way you could raise it. Living close to the earth and being dependent God for the outcome of your labor is a very humbling, and yet, wonderful way to live. However, there are some real hardships, circumstances that are beyond your control, which call your faith into play…the WHY you do what you are doing.
This post, I’m sorry, will not be one that tickles your funny bone and gives you that “good feeling” that a lot of my posts about the farm may do. It is with a heavy heart I write that I lost one of my layer hens this morning. I have no idea what happened, other than I heard her body expel her final breath while I was in the coop feeding them. It crushed my heart.
The death of our animals/critters, even after five years here on de Good Life Farm, is still so unsettling and heartbreaking to me. Even the planned “one bad day” deaths are difficult for me to deal with, but the unexpected ones just crush me.
The first death we experienced here on the farm was Heidi, Hershey’s mom. We brought her here to give Mocha companionship because she was so lonely being here on the farm without her mom, Jersey. Mocha cried day and night for days, so Jeff decided to search Craigslist.com for a friend for her. He found a lactating Jersey whose personality was described as being “more like a pet.” When she arrived at the farm, it didn’t take long for them to become best buddies.
Heidi gave us Hershey, our first beloved Angus/Jersey cross steer, but she died a year later before giving birth to her twins, from a disease we couldn’t have known about beforehand and one which began in her body before we even brought her here to the farm. Watching a massive animal die in front of your eyes…one that that has become part of your “family”, when what you were expecting was to celebrate the joy of new life, is pretty heart-breaking and devastating! The feeling of sadness and helplessness was overwhelming!
Then a few years ago, a weasel or mink took our entire flock of layers in two nights, including our sweet rooster, Griffin, who died doing his best to protect his flock. Now, I’m not a “chicken lover” but I greatly appreciate the beauty and diversity of the chicken breeds and I love gathering their eggs, besides the asset they are to our pasture and cows.
Other losses we have experienced were meat chickens through the summers, and although it makes me sad, because of their make-up and the heat of the summer, it is somewhat to be expected. We have lost cats we had hoped to make a good home for, who because of their upbringing ran away rather than trust us.
And, then there are the calves that we raise for beef. I am fully aware when those precious babies are born, that in about two-years’ time, I will have to say good-bye to them as they fulfill their purpose. Raising the calves is probably my favorite thing here on the farm. Jeff frequently has to remind me that I am not their mama…but, I bond with them from the moment they are born and spend time each day, loving on them, just hanging with them and making sure they are getting everything they need. I spend time training them to be led on a lead rope so when they weigh 7 or 8 times what I weigh, I can have some control over where they go.
People have said “You shouldn’t name them”! Are you kidding me? Would knowing them as “254” or “ABC” mean that I would love them any less, or be any less emotionally attached to them as I care for them each day of their lives? NO! So, I may as well give them a cute name befitting their cute personality! It means that truly, they are given the best love, care and respect that I can give them for EVERY day of their lives except for their “one bad day” when we load them on the trailer, knowing they are completing their destiny by providing food for our family and others who choose to buy their meat from us. So, amidst tears (sometimes cried over the previous two weeks, or longer), we say “good-bye” and “thank you.”
Yes, I have a very tender heart, but it’s more than that. I give these animals the very best care that I can give them while they are here and maybe what hurts me about the unexpected ones is trying to figure out what I could have done to prevent that death. I find joy in the mundane, monotonous day in and day out routines of the farm chores. But the days here are anything but dull and mundane to me!
So, when you think of me, or read my funny and wonderful stories about life here on ‘de Good Life Farm’, please remember there are many tears shed amidst the bursts of joy and laughter. And…thank a farmer for doing their best to provide you healthy food for your family!
SAD UPDATE: Before I could get this edited and published, discovered another death in the chicken coop this morning. Hope I can educate myself and figure out how the predator is getting in and out so that it can be remedied before dusk tonight. This is a hard day!
(I will add pictures later…my computer is spazzing and I just want to get this posted.)
