JUST DO THE NEXT THING…
Just like laughter is a part of life, so sadness is as well. Death is part of life and therefore, it is a very real part of farm life. And, even if not death, sadness and failure are parts of life and definitely a part of farm life.
On the farm there are two kinds of death: the expected and the unexpected. Both are hard. Both are sad. We mourn the deaths of the animals involved whether a planned or unexpected death. Life is precious!
People have said to me over the years that they just wouldn’t/couldn’t “name the animals” that were going to be used for food. I have explained to them again and again that as each life is born (or hatched), the preciousness of life is not dependent upon the purpose of that new life. It wouldn’t matter to me if the animal was named “A”, “B”, “C”, or “T-Bone”, it hurts when a living being that you have cared for day and night dies. The vacancy is almost palpable.
We have had a pregnant cow die right before our eyes just days before her calves (yes, twins) were due. We have had steers and heifers processed whose scheduled demise caused two weeks of tears prior to that scheduled date. We have lost laying hens for an unknown reason and we have lost a whole flock of layers, including a wonderful and beautiful rooster, to a predator. We have lost meat chickens to unknown causes as well as the scheduled processing date. Death is a loss, planned or unplanned, and because we are emotionally vested in each of our critters here on the farm, the death of each one hurts.
I have to admit that the unplanned deaths, like the layer hens, Griffin, the rooster, Heidi, the pregnant cow, and I’ll include our golden retriever, Beau, in that, who we lost last summer at the young age of four and a half years of age, to complications from the heat wave, hurt really bad. I feel sometimes like I have shed buckets of tears since coming to the farm, and that is hard to deal with, but again, all death is difficult to deal with.
So, what do I do when faced with devastating hurt? Well, I might want to curl up in a ball and cry, or hide under a blanket, but when there are still animals here depending on me for food and comfort and care, that just isn’t an option. So, regardless of what I FEEL like doing, I just do the next thing that has to be done.
If it’s milking time, I milk. If it’s feeding time, I feed. There are still a lot of critters here on the farm that need care, not to mention the humans that live here as well. JUST DO THE NEXT THING.
It might feel mechanical at first. You might have to force yourself, but I have found that there is comfort in routine. Knowing that I have to go milk and feed the animals helps me get up when I wouldn’t be able to otherwise; it helps me think of someone else besides myself and it reminds me that regardless of how sad I am, that there are still living beings counting on me for their well-being.
Life is hard! There is no question about it. However, there are ways to 1) counteract the difficulties and, 2) help yourself get past them! Focus on the positives. Focus on the lives who still depend on you. Stay with your routine. Don’t give in to curling up in a ball.
As the moon rises and the sun sets on your hard day(s), try to allow the hurts and disappointments of the day to be laid to rest with the day. Remember: the sun will rise again tomorrow and each day after that and before you know it, you will be back in the swing of things, with the sadness a memory, but not a debilitating condition…and just DO THE NEXT THING!
I hope this post has been a help and an encouragement to you. If so, subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss the next post in this series “Life Lessons Learned on the Farm”. Have a great day!
*Disclaimer – I am not a therapist. This blog is not intended to function as counseling for severe depression. Seek help if your sadness and depression is more than a reaction to a sad life circumstance. I am just sharing what has helped me.
