When I started this blog, my desire was to share the fun and funny happenings here on the farm that bring laughter and joy to us. But because of recent events, I have become aware that I also need to share with you the sadness and heartaches that are a part of this life as well. As in every part of life, sad and hard things go hand in hand with the good things. So, this post will not bring you laughter and it may bring you tears, but it is important that I share it with you as well. So grab a box of tissues and walk this path with me.
We see the words “Fragile – Handle with Care” on packages and moving boxes indicating that the contents are easily broken and that special care is required. However, we don’t often remember that life…the involuntary, yet greatly-desired action of inhaling and exhaling is fragile. Oh, when we think about it, we acknowledge it, but how often do we really think about our own invincibility or the fragility of the lives we encounter day after day?
We have had lots of new life here on the farm. In February of 2015, we brought home our first 20 chicks. They were absolutely adorable in their yellow, brown, black and reddish fluffiness and their little “cheep cheeps” brought a sweet new sound to our farm. In July, our first calf, Hershey, was born. He presented breech, so had it not been for the experienced helping hand of a farmer friend, he may not have made it, but thankfully he did and he was the most precious thing I had ever seen. In the three years on the farm we have enjoyed the birth of five calves, five puppies and we have brought 315 baby chicks home to the farm, some of them layer chicks and some of them meat chickens. Bringing new life into the world and onto our farm never gets old…life is precious!
Here on the farm there are two kinds of death: scheduled (their “one bad day”) and unscheduled/unexpected. They are both difficult. Because life is precious, the ending of life is not easy, nor should it be. Our first encounter with unscheduled death was two day old chicks. Even though statistics prove that a small percentage of chicks don’t make it for one reason or another, it still hurts when they die. And, then some of the older chicks or chickens die before their scheduled date, sometimes due to heat or some unknown cause, and it is sad. We give them all the best care we can while they live here on the farm.
Our next experience with unscheduled death was when one of our then two pregnant dairy cows (Heidi) died unexpectedly. There was no warning until the last minute. Her death also took the life of her two unborn calves, a boy and a girl. Those losses were devastating emotionally to me as we had to watch her die feeling helpless to do anything but comfort and love on her as life ebbed away. It affected all of us. It was so sad as Mocha, our other cow and her buddy, looked all over the pasture for her day after day, mooing as if to call to her to find her. It was heartbreaking.
We have also had our share of scheduled deaths. We have raised and taken six batches of meat chickens to the processor. The quietness and emptiness of the pasture after they are gone is sad, but because we don’t really get emotionally attached to the meat chickens, it is a quick recovery as chores are much less complicated and time-consuming when they are gone.
Last month we experienced the most difficult scheduled death on the farm: that of our firstborn calf, Hershey, our steer, born to provide meat for us to eat. He was a gift from God to these novice farmer-wanna-bes. Knowing this was his purpose from the day of his birth did not make his one bad day any easier. We gave him the best life we knew how and I know he felt loved. It was so sad to know he was going. As we spent time with him with the date drawing near, I cried so much and then after he was gone, the vacancy with him gone was almost overwhelming. He was such a beautiful animal, a gentle giant and loving boy. His huge presence is greatly missed here on the farm.
Then earlier this week, we again had to deal with the harshness of unscheduled death: we were greeted with the realization that a predator had penetrated the perimeter of our poultry fence and had killed two of our young laying chickens. I felt angry and sad, especially given the fact that we are lucky to get 3 eggs per day from our 16, now 14 chickens.
But, we as human beings…do we think about the fragility of life and how quickly life can change? I had a friend who witnessed a serious car accident last week who reminded me how fragile life is and how quickly life can change. Then it became a reality for me and my family when we received the news that my own mom had fallen asleep at the wheel and had been in a serious car accident. But as the details of the story unfolded, miracle after miracle was being inter-weaved through the entire incident.
One moment she was on were way home from doing a multitude of errands just like she had done so many times before, but THIS time was different. There were lessons to be learned and lives to be touched. I am so glad that God spared her life. I am so thankful that although her injuries are serious and will take time to heal, she is still with us, being the same source of joy and light that she has always been.
Throughout this ordeal my mom was ordained to endure, the number of lives she touched may never be known. I was told by many people that she was an angel, a sweetheart, the favorite patient and many more references to how she shares her light and song and spreads it around to those with whom she comes in contact. We have said for years that she has a song for everything and I realized it was really true as she sat in her hospital bed and sang songs with my sisters and me. What a treasure she is, a rare treasure. A priceless jewel!
I am determined to remember that life is fragile, not like a breakable vase being shipped in a box, but in a reverent way, a way that reminds us to tell the people we love how much they mean to us; a way that helps us reach out to someone we don’t know with a smile, to lend a helping hand when we are able, to help shoulder a burden that is weighing someone down, to sing a song when given the chance.
I am so very thankful for the gift of life and love. I am so very thankful that my mom’s life was spared and that I can still call her on the phone each morning.
SAD UPDATE TO THIS POST:
We lost 14 chickens, our entire remaining flock, to a predator overnight. The devastation and sadness is overwhelming. It seems somewhat uncannily ironic that as our chickens were being slaughtered, I was sitting here writing my post about death. My heart is broken. We lost the best and most beautiful rooster we could ever imagine after having here on the farm. His name was Griffin. I am sure he died valiantly trying to protect his girls.
We are going to take a short break and make a new plan for protecting our spring flock. I love eggs too much to give up on having chickens, but I am not ready to deal with the stress of protecting them yet.
Life and death go hand in hand as we walk this planet. Farm life is a hard life but, to quote a loved movie line, “It’s the hard that makes it good.” Thankfully, the joys, chuckles, giggles and laughter of the farm usually outweigh the hard and sad times. Unfortunately, this week, we have had more than our share of hard times and tears. I am looking forward to the coming joys and laughter and hope you will join me again to share those with me here on de Good Life Farm.
